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New City Kitchen and Bait Shop

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

6:19PM - I'm back-------

After a rather long hiatus, it's time I got back to the party. More to follow later, watch this space----(I've a lot of catching up to do here!)---;)

Current mood: good

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

9:41PM - A quirky incident the day John died....it may have been nothing....

I woke in the middle of the night, tense and anxious----I couldn't understand why I had so suddenly stirred awake, and why I was so, well, AWAKE. I lay there for a few minutes, then turned on the light and looked at the clock----2:30 am. I got up, walked around, got back in bed, and noticed the moon just BARRELING through my window, so bright, though the phase was just slightly more than a half moon. I thought of John, wished him well, and drifted off to sleep.
That morning, Mark, a mutual friend, called me at 7:30 am to tell me that John had died in the night. Later, it crossed my mind, ---what time did he die?
The next day, the death notice marked his time of death at 2:25 am. It's only been a couple of months since I paid notice to it, but the moon has never been positioned to glare in my window as it did that night, or even close to that time of night.
Just a couple of very interesting coincidences----

Sunday, April 25, 2004

8:28PM - Had he lived, he would have turned 45 today.

As it turns out, his mother and a sister celebrated a mass for his intentions at the CSC retreat home at the University of Notre Dame, in South Bend, Indiana,his alma mater, instead. The mass was actually for his mother's intentions--- I'm the one who had the mass offered for her. I figured, well, she WAS there that day as well. And I'm pretty confident her intentions would be to pray for him. I feel a tad ridiculous that I've already offered 8 masses for him, and felt I had to put a cap on that. I'm not sorry I offered them, but now I wonder if there's some way for him not to ever know I did it.
The gentleman and scholar in question here was a librarian I worked with. He had gone through brain surgery, successfully, it seemed, last summer. This past January 2, he didn't show up for work---I thought he had called off sick-- but it turned out the two Reference colleagues that worked that day, for reasons I don't understand, ignored it and didn't check up on him. When he didn't show on the 5th, the Reference head had some of his buddies check on him, only to find him unconscious, from a brain seizure. I'll give more details later on this incident, but in short, he died January 13. His unexpected relapse and death affected me deeply, I didn't expect it to so much.

Some things have changed, as I live alone. I would touch base with my family weekly, to check in---now I do it every other day. I've let them know where keys and access to my home are, in case, as my sis Kat has teased me on my recent concern, "we need to find your dead and rotting body"---I just don't want to do that to my family, have something happen and no one be suspicious or check for four days like what happened to John. And he had a LOT more friends than I do.
I met his mother--a wonderful lady, who is a daily communicant and devout Catholic. No one should outlive their child, it's just---unnatural. I spent 4 days writing a letter about her son---lots of what I suppose the movie PULP FICTION would have deemed as--"it's the little things"---hoping it would help her. It seems it did---I've received several
lovely letters in return. And I had masses offered at the church she attends and sent a check to cover some masses his 7 (!) siblings can attend as well. Yeah, I feel I went a little overboard. I couldn't help myself---I would rather he was here, not for me,(really--it ISN'T about me) but for all these people here that miss him so much-----
and at the same time, some of these same people piss me off! Using his death as an excuse to lose their temper and be all mopey, even now. We were lucky to know him at all. And blaming him for not being found because he was so "private"---cut him a break! Maybe THESE people needed to grow enough spine to keep him from bullying them out of checking in on him! They should have told him " Hey Asshole! We give a damn about you, and we're gonna check on you and KEEP checkin' on you, so deal with it because that's what friends DO!"

On the up side, the boss has been more humane since his death to everyone. I had a phone interview wiith the UNLV library last week, and will hear from them this week--but if offered the position, won't accept it....the position didn't sound like my cup of tea ( I'm not into working til 2 am anymore)--
I'll be picking up my parents from Lambert Intl airport in SL tomorrow--they'll be in town for the summer/fall--

I'll check in later---and thanks again, Trish, for being a
pal and checking in on ME.

Current mood: contemplative

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

5:55PM - Vegas got snow!!!!

--haven't talked to the parental units, but I will after attempting to collect some rent from Mr Jack (his real last name)---
Christmas. Got to my parents' house at 830 am, opened our stocking stuffers--we've made a tradition of buying small but imaginitive things that would fit in the stocking--it's evolved to going in a small gift bag. The collection of things included little bags of Mauna Loa Macadamia nuts, earrings, slippers, breath mint strips, theatre size boxes of candy, fridge magnets, little picture frames, Burt's Bees products, pens, tea and coffee. Fun stuff.
Then we were off to Kath's, enjoying the gifts my nephews got, and had a dinner of Beef tenderloin and Turkey Breast. Tomb Raider II was enjoyed for a while, a red velvet cake was cut and consumed, along with a pumpkin roll cake and a Pannetone. Then home to walk and play with the dog, passing on gifts I got for him and the boys bought too (a squeaky squirrel and a basted Rawhide bone, the latter laready half consumed).
Friday I went with day to see John, to drop presents fro his daughter Alea. She got a lot of presents, and enjoyed her day with her dad---all the "Holy Cow, Dad" comments she made, before even tearing open a gift, made me think she could be related to Harry Caray, of the Cubs announcing fame...Saturday was focused on going over landlord in absentia "stuff" with dad, to then hit mass with mom and have chinese for dinner with them. Sunday, catchup day. Monday, Shopping for after Christmas bargains, which, by that time were very picked over, but at least I did not have crowds to contend with. Spent 3 hours at BN catching up on my magazine addiction.Today, went to the Botanical Garden (another BEAUTIFUL sunny day)--to check their poinsettia display, and walk Benny.
After visitng Mr Jack, I've some house cleaning and paper processing of my own to contend with ----plans for the NEW YEAR-health choices, employment hopes, my freelance writing becoming more productive, and my own artwork/craftwork--in my case, painting and quilting, and exploring a new medium, sculpture ---I've got to clean up some things, and then plan it out.Don't know what I'll do New Year's Eve....I'll see what Kath's doing.
Later----

Sunday, December 28, 2003

12:27PM - A jubilant Holiday---!

it really was. The weather was surprisingly elegant---from Christmas eve through yesterday the sky was a clear blue and the temperatures stayed in the 50's! I spent the "eve" poking around for a few incidentals--and from my former retail days of forced labor on Christmas eve, was expecting it to be quiet---well, it really is, here, perhaps it's a Midwest mentality of having your shoppping done by the 23rd so you're focusing on the cooking and visiting on the 24th (ok, stores close at 6 pm around here that day, and to be fair, the "world" comes out of its cocoon at 430 pm remembering "Hey! I CAN'T do without til the stores open again at 6 am on the 26th!")--if it's any reflection of an economy on the upswing, I take note of it, gratefully--I went to the grocery store to pick up some sour cream for mom EARLY that morning, and the place was jammed--and remained so all day. At BN--which is also quiet til 430 pm (worked ALL the Xmas eves--CLOSING THEM-- that's why I know,save one, and only because they lost one of their 12/26 opening managers on short notice, so they had to give me the "eve" off or it would have been overtime---gosh I'm so thankful to be gone from retail!)--the lines were all the way back in the kids' department, all registers going, all day ( I went to return a book)--- after those early day errands, I just did some laundry, got cleaned up, enjoyed some carols on WUIS, and some of my own CDs--I walked Benny out at Washington Park--it was very quiet, lots of older majestic homes there tastefully lighted, some party going on at the pavilion, people briskly hustling and jumbling about with their packages---- at 5:30 pm I then headed out to mom and dad's, meeting my sisters, and their families(Stacy's boys, Sam and John, were with their dad til midnight mass), there for turkey and ham ruebens, fruit salad, wine, sparkling grape juice for the boys, brownies, a veggie plate and chips and crackers. Stacy made a pesto dip that was very good, and a chipped beef ball that I think was for her husband "bubba", as he sat next to it almost all evening and pulled chunks of it off to put on little crackers which he quickly ate until the ball was a little smear on a plate (those things are a little heavy for my tastes) --and the tradition of Prairie Farms French Onion dip was not to be broken here--it's so addicting. My parents say there's nothing that comes close to it in Vegas and they need to have PF Fed Express it to them when they are there. Stacy's crew were going to Midnight mass since Sam is serving and she's an extraordinary minister scheduled then--Kath's family made the 4 pm mass earlier in the afternoon. Kath had errands as well and dropped off Cole, the 6 year old, to hang with mom early afternoon. After dropping by the sour cream I entertained Cole so mom could finish her personal chores, and clean up herself. Cole's so full of "vim and vinegar" but mom had picked up a book on how to draw cartoons and he's really entranced by it. She has set him up with his own little folder to put his drawing in, and he's very particular about it. He loves tracing the various picutures, and coloring them in---he shows such focus and patience in the tracing and coloring within the lines. It's such a good activity for him--not that he lacks any self esteem, but his effort in this certainly leaves a grounded
effect on him. He's so vivacious and spontaneous---very affectionate and sweet.
So the visiting went nicely,(Kath, Jim, Ry and COle left at about 8 pm)---and Stacy and bubba stayed--and stayed. They had mentioned that they had plans to go to bubba's mother's right after leaving mom and dad's a few days ago---but I heard from mom that she had to go back in the hospital again, so it appears they hung around til 10:45 pm because they had nowhere else to go before mass. Did they visit her at ALL in the hospital? They didn't mention that they did, but I hope so. Maybe hospitals have rules about visiting,even on Christmas Eve, after 8 pm---I don't think they should. Anyway, I left right after they did.
I'll write up more later, about Christmas day, the day after (when I drove with dad to St Louis to see John) and my last day with the parents, Saturday, before their departure to Vegas. They were driven in by Jim this morning, and they plance leaves within a half hour as I write. I've just been here inthe back room, surfing and writing, Benny napping at my feet. The guy next door to the south of me is re-siding part of the house there--the 3 girls who rented it, moved out Nov 30 and he's using the bad rerental time to upgrade the place.It's time for some coffee---

Current mood: cheerful

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

8:09PM - finally time to update---

the dog's on the landing right now---he's been forgetting his housetraining today, so he's in "time out" mode---
Thanksgiving was very good--held at my sister Kathy's place, and she entertained my parents and I, as well as her husband's sisters Chrissie and Lisa, Lisa's 17 year old daughter Nicole (Lisa lost her husband when Nicole was a year old, to a drunk driver on New Year's Eve---I still remember when it happened, when Kathy was dating my brother in law Jim at the time)--and Chrissie's husband Dan. The food---wonderful. We watched BRUCE ALMIGHTY later that evening, but it seems a mandate to watch the NBC Macy's Parade (well, it was on, but I didn't watch it. I did catch part of MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET though).
The day before I had the day off so I went with mom and dad to see my brother John in St Louis. Did I already cover that? It seems I'm the only sibling with the time to drop in on him. Stacy just doesn't do it---Kathy does it if it coincides with a shopping excursion. Anyway, he likes the visits. I'm going with dad this Friday to visit him, drop off things for his daughter Alea.
Once I got back from Thanksgiving week break, I've just been overwhelmed with an electronic reserve archiving project that I hope to finish on January 2. Why then? It's the next time I work. We're off from 12/24-28, and I'm taking off from the 29-31, and will be off 1/1 for the holiday. Tried to get off the 2nd, but everyone else wanted off too. I suspect one of the 3 of us stuck doing it is calling off sick that day, I saw her auto message assistant note when I sent her an email( I plan calling off 1/5 myself----). And we got news today that a tentative agreement with the Federal mediator for our union was made, to be voted on 1/6.
I quietly resigned from the hospitality committee----or, thought I did it quietly---proceeded not to attend the Library holiday party, as it was held when I wasn't present working ( I didn't go to the one last year because it was on my day off, and I had car problems that made it impossible to go) and skipped the University Holiday party despite it happening during my working hours. When pressed why I didn't go to the University one, I could honestly say I just didn't want to go. It was nice to be alone in the office, with only the student workers on duty...getting a break from---THEM. I remember the first year I went. The basic routine for this is you flag down a table where all your office mates sit, in my case very uncomfortably with not a lot to say. You pig out on food for an hour and then KitKat tells you all to go back to the office, even though the party goes on for another hour. The second year, I sat for 3 minutes, and then left to work the room for as long as I could---I think I was able to milk out a half hour more becasue they couldn't find me (haha)----now, I don't see the point. JoAnn was trying to convince me to go and take advantage of the free food---but it's not about that, getting something FREE. Then KitKat comes back from the party, putting on this attitude, ORDERING me to go. I stood my ground, civilly with the "no thank yous." She gave us all some basket thing for the holidays---I think I heard from someone it was an almond lime bread wrapped in a towel---I quietly gave it to a student worker. Joan gave me a box of Pixies, and I just as quietly passed that to a student as well. I did thank everyone--I'm just not keeping those things. The potpourri JoAnn gave me is going to my mom for Christmas. Carol R's gesture was holiday e-cards but our security system here at the university spit them out, so she sent a university email to us wishing us happy holidays. My night coworker, that I'm aware of, did nothing. Or maybe she just left me out as I left her out this year.
My dark chocolate mint truffles were a hit---yummy! Several "thank you" emails and in person thank yous were passed on to me-- from all nice people . I could NOT bypass the boss--she was there the day I passed them out--and it would be too obvious a face slap. Bev, a librarian who retires next year, sent a card--the Dean, as well---and this milquetoast Reference technician who's been carrying a torch for me gave me a big canister of Peanut M & Ms---that he noted I liked them is amusing, borderline flattering, and raises a jaundiced eyebrow. I hope he remains too chicken to ask me out. I need to keep something in my life simple.
I need to get the pup some toys/xmas presents tomorrow. I'll go to Mass at 4:30 pm, and then the family will meet at my parents for turkey ruebens. Christmas will be at Kathy's place.
I'm a bit tired. I think I'll recheck my friends' entries and respond.

Current mood: blank

Monday, December 22, 2003

2:00PM - I've been offline for a month-

busy with the projects I need to get done around here, and just had time now to check my livejournal---and one of my friends isn't on there anymore---Genie, I hope things are ok.----
As I can't freely update at the moment, I'd best log off and catch up the rest of you later ---by tomorrow morning, at the latest-----but I wanted to read some of your entries and somewhat catch up----

Saturday, November 22, 2003

3:45PM - ok----here we go!

turns out my sister Kathy has strep throat---she's been getting up at 4 am to run, to get back to the house at 6 to be there for the kids and her husband. She'll be ok, but she's very FATIGUED. Mom went over and made her some tapioca pudding. We DO have a pretty wonderful mom, considering her kids range in ages of 37-43 and we still get babied!

Dad saw the Russell Crowe Flick MASTER AND COMMANDER and said it was really great. Add that to the Video must sees.Mom's getting ready to make the Red Velevet Birthday cake for Stacy, who turns the BIG 4-0 on December 1. Nephew(and her elder son) Sam will take it with him to their house. My parents are working at avoiding their new son in law quietly in appropriate, respectful ways. This guy is bad news, I'm sorry to say---he's been very disrespectful to my mom, and my father won't tolerate THAT, understandably, and has been so to my father as well, but dad just ignores him ----yet in Stacy's eyes, this Neanderthal invented the wheel. If it had been me, I would have been suspicious that my ENTIRE FAMILY couldn't find anything redeeming about a boyfriend of mine, after a while. Family life is not always as pretty and works out linearly as it does on SEVENTH HEAVEN, eh? Some people out there are just BAD, and all one can do is adjust one's life to be around it as little as possible.

Starting at 6 pm tonight when we lock up the library, starts an 9 day break from this place. Nine days, 22 hours not working here.OH Y-E-A-H.

Hey Trish---I think you need some TRUFFLES sent to you! Anybody else want some? I have a few errands to run after I get out of here, then, it's a soak and some wine, a romp with Benny--maybe read before bed.
I'll post during my work break at home-----I want all four of my LJ buds to have a MOST EXCELLENT THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY--I'm thankful that folks like you exist.

Current mood: ecstatic

Thursday, November 20, 2003

9:16PM - The Rib Fest? Success, naturally----

was a little nervous, perhaps thought things would burn or come out raw, but all was wonderful. The slaw---GONE. The beans--GONE. A few ribbys actually left--the puppy will be pleased, he was very noisy--unlike him, but like him when it comes to food---when I was preparing the meat for saucing.

I usually don't talk to Stinky at work much anymore---not much to say---but I had mentioned to her yesterday that I had noticed that the Dean's assistant had been rather avoidant of me since the "meeting". How interesting that the assistant made a point to speak to me before she left this evening. I don't think the place is bugged, but ole Stinky has shades and layers of telling the "other side" everything. It's stuff that's spoken, NOT written on email or in other computer avenues...though the KAT has been mentioned by student workers to speak of certain things about them that only she would know if she had been reading their e mail. It's very important to her to, well, KNOW EVERYTHING. That seems a daunting burden. A burden, too, to suck up and power play the office politics around here. My friend Bob in Ed Tech was discussing that today. I am not a political person, really---hence my lack of a well playing job in a state capitol city----but ILLINOIS is possibly the most politically corrupt state in the Union. It's more free---more freeing---to be in the private sector, I think.

I'm going to figure out a way.

Current mood: contemplative, inspired

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

9:47PM - AH---I take off from work in about ten minutes---

and need to procure some more Barbeque sauce for the ribs--I know I'll need more than I have----and I'll walk Benny too----
A bit tired tonight. There's a few things I need to do to get my feast in gear before bed. It's fun to cook for people, for no special reason.
I need to engage in a little housekeeping too, if not before bed, before work tomorrow.

Current mood: sleepy

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

6:20PM - ok---goofy week over, NOT gonna dwell on it---

but in a short recap, me, the KAT, my union rep and the dean's assistant met, an I got to hear about all of a sudden I'm this problem employee with bad customer service skills(and as my union rep reminded me "but there's no documentation of this---what the hell?")I got a verbal warning (which was written---ah, the world is full of contradictions, yes?) for---what---I still don't know. There was noise of an attitude problem, and my communications and judgment skills----again, all news to me. So I'm documenting everything I do---and emailing copies of everything that goes to the boss to the union rep as well---(I keep copies to give my rep, but I do this to potentially irritate the Kat--and I know it does--MWAHAHAHAHA) --my rep told me, regarding my boss "This woman's got a hard on for you, pardon my vulgar way of putting this. She's been a problem on campus since she got here, and was one at her previous employer's." So, it's not my imagination.
She's been on a speak-when-absolutely-necessary basis, and civil when done---all I EVER wanted from her. I would have liked to have avoided the confrontation we had and had been hired elsewhere, and moved on quietly---I just couldn't take her hatefulness anymore, I had to lash back.

OK--on to more fun stuff. Over the weekend my 4 nephews spent the night at my mom's (ages 6 1/2 to 14) and they had the BEST TIME!!!! Eating and playing pool, and do the video games, and movies, and eating , and telling stories, and just talking amongst themselves---I went over for a while, and hung out with them. Sam, the oldest, has set up a little honey farm business up--he's got about 15 hives---and gave some of his "crop" to me and mom---I'm going to help him get on the Photoshop and get him rigged up with a nifty label for his Mason Jars in a week....
anyway, Sunday morning was all about pancakes and sausage and bacon---I missed out on that, I was walking the dog---and my brother in law hoping to get some of theri leftovers when he came by to pick up his two boys Ry and Cole (mom made some more for him). Mom and I later shopped about for a few incidentals before heading back for some pot roast and noodles.
I got my old BR set sold---it belonged to my grandparents, given when my grandmother died( it needed refinished BADLY and some little repairs --I just didn't have the patience, time and SPACE to do that)---and this pays for the new mattress/boxpring set I got. I've got a nightstand and highboy picked out at K's to replace the old stuff, which will be picked up next Monday.
And, well, except for the tree, MY CHRISTMAS Decorations are all up! Felt ready for it----(it's been RAINING a lot here--the temp's been not bad---40s/50s--but the rain pattering makes for good sleeping). After ruminating about making caramels for gifts, I've settled on making orange/dark chocolate truffles instead. Any of my friends here on the LIVEJOURNAL, if you'd like some, send me a shipping addy, and I'll send you a little box! I'll be making them Thanksgiving weekend, will mail them out tentatively Monday December 1. There's just something about Christmas Candy---even more so than cookies!-----
Tomorrow will be "thank you-here's pizza" night for Dan and Alexis for being such reliable student workers (I can't say such for my Tuesday,Thursday, or Saturday folk---and the Friday crew

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but in a short recap, me, the KAT, my union rep and the dean's assistant met, an I got to hear about all of a sudden I'm this problem employee with bad customer service skills(and as my union rep reminded me "but there's no documentation of this---what the hell?")I got a verbal warning (which was written---ah, the world is full of contradictions, yes?) for---what---I still don't know. There was noise of an attitude problem, and my communications and judgment skills----again, all news to me. So I'm documenting everything I do---and emailing copies of everything that goes to the boss to the union rep as well---(I keep copies to give my rep, but I do this to potentially irritate the Kat--and I know it does--MWAHAHAHAHA) --my rep told me, regarding my boss "This woman's got a hard on for you, pardon my vulgar way of putting this. She's been a problem on campus since she got here, and was one at her previous employer's." So, it's not my imagination.
She's been on a speak-when-absolutely-necessary basis, and civil when done---all I EVER wanted from her. I would have liked to have avoided the confrontation we had and had been hired elsewhere, and moved on quietly---I just couldn't take her hatefulness anymore, I had to lash back.

OK--on to more fun stuff. Over the weekend my 4 nephews spent the night at my mom's (ages 6 1/2 to 14) and they had the BEST TIME!!!! Eating and playing pool, and do the video games, and movies, and eating , and telling stories, and just talking amongst themselves---I went over for a while, and hung out with them. Sam, the oldest, has set up a little honey farm business up--he's got about 15 hives---and gave some of his "crop" to me and mom---I'm going to help him get on the Photoshop and get him rigged up with a nifty label for his Mason Jars in a week....
anyway, Sunday morning was all about pancakes and sausage and bacon---I missed out on that, I was walking the dog---and my brother in law hoping to get some of theri leftovers when he came by to pick up his two boys Ry and Cole (mom made some more for him). Mom and I later shopped about for a few incidentals before heading back for some pot roast and noodles.
I got my old BR set sold---it belonged to my grandparents, given when my grandmother died( it needed refinished BADLY and some little repairs --I just didn't have the patience, time and SPACE to do that)---and this pays for the new mattress/boxpring set I got. I've got a nightstand and highboy picked out at K's to replace the old stuff, which will be picked up next Monday.
And, well, except for the tree, MY CHRISTMAS Decorations are all up! Felt ready for it----(it's been RAINING a lot here--the temp's been not bad---40s/50s--but the rain pattering makes for good sleeping). After ruminating about making caramels for gifts, I've settled on making orange/dark chocolate truffles instead. Any of my friends here on the LIVEJOURNAL, if you'd like some, send me a shipping addy, and I'll send you a little box! I'll be making them Thanksgiving weekend, will mail them out tentatively Monday December 1. There's just something about Christmas Candy---even more so than cookies!-----
Tomorrow will be "thank you-here's pizza" night for Dan and Alexis for being such reliable student workers (I can't say such for my Tuesday,Thursday, or Saturday folk---and the Friday crew <I can't believe this!> aren't pizza fans.) And Thursday I work for ole Stinky (4-midnight) so I'm making a party out of it and bringing in ribs, slaw and beans for me and the Ed Tech workers. Those ribs have been in the freezer for a while---gotta do something with them before they go BAD!

Current mood: bouncy

Saturday, November 8, 2003

4:15PM - what happened to me on Thursday, November 6, 2003----(or PETTY PEOPLE, PETTY LIVES-Chapter 1)

As I got to my desk at 2 pm the boss approaches me, says a faculty person who specifically mentioned me as helping him turned in some items for electronic reserve that were not properly prepared per our requirements. She proceeded to bullet through some very elementary issues----refusing to acknowledge any questions about the incident I had by giving me the "talk to the hand" thing and saying "let me finish," even when it seemed to me she HAD finished, several times--and then walked away, with me just stunned. I proceeded to walk over to my e reserve coworker, JoAnn, to find out what happened, as it was clear I ws getting nowhere with the boss. Boss lady sees me go to JoAnn, proceeds to cut me off at the pass to both interrupt and end any conversation with her. I try to tell the boss I want to know what happened to necessitate the lecture I just got, she interrupts with a "I'm just trying to reinforce procedure" and tells me to calm down (I wasn't yelling, nor even had raised my voice but I was insistent about wanting to be heard, and she was so patronizing, and by telling me to calm down, she was putting herself in a power position of dictating what "the situation" was). I told her "No. I'm angry about this!" to which she cut me off with a crooked finger to follow her to a locked classroom she thought was open. After she procured the key from they librarian on duty and we entereed the room, she just tore into me! I can't remember half of what she said, but her face ws almost purple, she was hyperventilating, SNORTING, even---her face all scrunched up and full of hate----she tore into ME---jand I thought I was the angry one! There were some victimizing comments from her, which were totally false("i'm just trying to give you constructive criticism and you take everything I say as an ATTACK---I give you every opportunity to comment back on what is being said---") and i was half in shock at how she behaved and all I could say was--"No, I don't" and "No, YOU don't" with circular rounds of "YES YOU DO!" and "YES I DO!"(after two rounds of THAT I'd stop---I'm not in the 3rd grade anymore)--I told her if she didn't want me to do electronic reserves anymore I'd just forward all the professors to her and JoAnn, and she said she didn't want that. I replied she had specifically changed my job description during the previous annual review to reflect just that, but was doing this duty anyway. She snorted and ordered me to sit down. I said "NO. I prefer to stand!" "Sit DOWN!" "NO. I PREFER TO STAND." It was then I saw she needed to sit, she was not handling herself well. I then started with "I know this isn't a democracy-"to be interrupted with a very arrogant, cocky, swaggering"WHAT EEEEVER gave YOUUUUU the IDEEEEEA *THIS* was a DEMOOOOOOOOCRACY?" She said it several times. She wallowed in the remark like a happy, freshly carboloaded and sexually gratified sow in its prime, gently guided to a manure heap hosed down to a soup with Perrier.
This was about HER. Her power, her perspective of her narrow, myopic tiny world of Kathleen the Great, of overcoming the insecurities of the said Kathleen by roughing up whoever might threaten her superiority.
I started to walk out. She bellowed "GET BAACK HERE, WE'RE NOT DONE YET!"
Me: "No. YOU'RE not done yet."
Again, the triumphant Chester White squealed.
"THATS RIGHT! IIIIIIIIII'M NOT DONE YET! IIIIIIIIIIIm NOT DONE YET!"
I momentarily stepped back. Did she actually have something to say? Was it worth the current abuse? Did I dare walk out and risk losing a job I desperately needed? I was trying to listen, and heard nothing despite the noise. I was angry, sure, but this broad was furious---and drunk with the pleasure of it.
I felt suddenly---powerful. In control of my world. And ethically, no one had to put up with any of this crap.
I turned to her, very calm and said "You're clearly in no shape to talk right now. If you really want to have a talk later, maybe we'll do it then."

I walked out the door.

With her bellowing "GET BACK HERE! I"M NOT DONE YET! I'M NOT DONE YET!"

My head was high, a slight smile may have been on my face as I walked back to the office. I turned to my very nice but backboneless coworkers JoAnn and Carol, their eyes round as Lenox Federal Platinum salad plates, and said "she can write me up. I don't care anymore." And went back to work.

Long story short---I have to meet with miss piggy on Tuesday, to discuss the incident and "other work issues"---I told her I was bringing a union representative---she grimaced, said the meeting was only the two of us and wasn't necessary but my choice---I asked if the Dean was joining us--again, grimace--but she e mailed me after she went home Friday to state the Dean's assistant would attend. I'm bringing a tape recorder. My concerns are that A-I don't get subjected to that kind of outburst again and B-I'm protected.

I'm sure she'll be on her very best behavior.
(Damn!)
Turns out the e reserve problem was the professor's grad assistant who processed the item wrong, not anything I had told him.

Current mood: chipper

Saturday, November 1, 2003

3:26PM - It was 70 degrees yesterday!---

and a great day. After work I went to my sister Kat's, where me, my parents, she and her husband Jim, and the little nephew Cole had home made chicken noodle soup(actually the way this family cooks, it's fairer to say that it was "chicken and noodles" rather than soup) Subway sandwiches(not a fan---I think their "homemade" bread is too salty or something--tastes funny) and Mom made a red velvet cake....REALLY good. Had a great time just talking and visiting----Jim loaned dad his DVD copies of MATRIX RELOADED and XXX, I watched BLADE with Cole(I'd seen BLADE II but not this one)---his older brother Ry went to a bonfire with his cousins Sam and John. Ry's this great kid, very sensible--so hard to find this day and age--likes and participates in sports, but isn't a big jock, works hard in school, thinks about his future, but doesn't want to grow up too fast. He's got some "friends" that didn't include him in their Halloween excursions this year, I think partly because he's not acting as studly as they are with the 12-13 year old girls, the girls that are his age. I just have a lot of compassion right now for the guy, it's such an awkward place to be in, in this age, how things are. Life WAS simpler when I was a teenager.
Well, I got home fairly early (830pm) to walk and play with Benny, ---read a bit---but went to bed by 11. The temp took a big dip the high being about 53 today. Lots of folks in the library today, making messes, but other than that not much to do workwise.
There's a "Halloween" party tonight held by some friends of a former friend --- I'll drop in for a little while and visit them. One of them also works here at the university. A guy I worked with at BN got involved with this mailman and they were together for several years---I may have mentioned him before. Anyway, Chuck has this old historic home he bought very reasonably and is slowly fixing it up. The other university worker was a roommate along with them, and she still is living there. The BN worker bailed on Chuck after he("BN Boy") got his BA and MA and got hired at the Thomas Lincoln State Home site over by Charleston, IL. Turns out he had planned to do that once Chuck finalized the house purchase and Matt started grad school...I do plan to step out for a while and hit mass down the road in a few minutes, and be back before we close the library as it is a holy day of obligation today.
I must check my friends' entries and post back at them, let them know I AM keeping touch----

Current mood: cheerful

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

7:11PM - Ok, it's gonna be cold til spring, now----

though there's hope for Indian Summer. My pup Benny is hilarious about this new bed I have. He's decided that he doesn't want to be under the bed anymore, but be on top of it----something he wouldn't do with the previous bed---and he had access to jump on that one. He won't sleep on it at night, but will wake me up in the morning by jumping up on it and bounce around. Then I'll get up, and he's all burrowed in the covers and pillows--you have to either bribe him with food or pick him up out of the bed. He even bangs the bedroom door open to get to it.
Dad and John got back late last night from Vegas (incidentally, the new TV show, with James Caan, hits more than it misses in depicting the city, I believe)---dad obviously had a great time, sounds very relaxed. I stopped in to see Mom everyday, as did Kat, and Stacy did drop by once. I took Mom to B & N so she could read her book that's going to be discussed next month at her book club---she'll go in and read five chapters about every other day instead of buying it because she didn't think this one was worth buying,(SAY WHEN by Elizabeth Berg)and the library's 3 copies were already taken.
Kat's having a little get together for Halloween---I don't know if she's making chili or soup or what----but we'll all be dropping by that evening.
Got to get my flu shot next week. Finished THE STAND(a classic), DOGS OF BABEL(it was --ok--didn't like the ending)and have to get back mom her copy of THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES, and AN ABSENSE OF NECTAR---the DAVINCI CODE is on my list to read, and I have to clean out my stacks at home----

Current mood: pensive

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

5:02PM - So---back from a reprieve---

I was taking a break from the journal to focus on job hunting, with no success, as of yet. My day at work here started about 3 hours ago---the good news, nothing suprising; the bad news, it's been a pretty horrible day, despite it being so beautiful outdoors---literary naturalism at work -----
A co-worker's older brother died of cancer (I think he was 36 years old) over the weekend. It was a long haul for the family. I arranged to have a mass said for him at my coworker's church(her family attends the Cathedral here in town)----she just got back from bereavement today. KitKat was off at some seminar for most of the day, but came back at 4 to hang for an hour.
Dealt with a HORRIBLE patron Saturday. I was in retail, all over again, with this hateful woman who was attacking a barely trained student worker(and an international student from India on top of it)---I played interference only to get the Wrath of Khan tagged on to me-which is fine, by itself--but I incurred a "write up" by this witch, and I had to suffer KitKat treating me like some junkyard dog needing obedience training when I saw her today. And true to retail form---whereas such complaints can be made anonymously---she chose to sign it---but USED SOMEONE ELSE'S NAME.
( a little afraid of me, is she? SHE SHOULD BE!!)

Tomorrow I work 4pm -midnight because the Humphalant wants to take her spouse out for a Birthday dinner at one of those all you can eat buffets.

My bed broke (didn't do anything---it was just old) and Ray, my industrial arts teacher friend, didn't recommend fixing it, so I bought another---it's getting delivered tomorrow. The late shift actually works out with the delivery time. I have a new Mission style headboard to go with it---on considering the footboard/rail set, not only is it more money, footboards always seem to eat up more room in a room, I believe, and limits "sitting on the bed" options ( how can you sit on the corner with that footboard there?) and I'm selling the rest of the BR set-vanity w/seat, night stand, highboy. I'll shop for a nightstand and highboy in a month or two, when the bed gets paid for---meanwhile all my clothes are on hangers in the closet, my underwear drawer stuff in a shopping bag in the spare room.
A few weeks ago Mom, my sister Kathy and I made 20 apple pies to freeze, and one apple crisp(which we ate that day)--assembly line style.I took home two (all the room I have in my freezer for them) the other two took 9 each(Kathy gave 4 away as gifts)--and settled in for 5 hour stew later that evening. The apples came from Broom's Orchard on an excursion from Carlinville.
Dad left for St Louis this evening, he and my brother are taking off for Vegas for 5 days---the Mr Olympia contest is going on and John's really into that kind of thing. Despite that they have so little in common besides blood----my dad and brother love each other very much. When Dad passes on, I know it's going to be so hard on my brother. That's why I think he NEEDS to get married, eventually. His daughter, I don't think, is going to be enough. Alea has physical coordination problems, is developmentally slow, and deals with anxiety problems that mirror ADD--that's the kind of medication they have her on. These things keep him very busy--he's a good dad, there's no doubt. But, he needs a mate, I really think he does.
I'll post more later---work is calling.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

5:37PM - ok, Trish---this sounds fun!----

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single---no steady boyfrien(although there are two guys I work with that would like to change that---they're just not my type--and one I'd consider going out for pizza, but he is a VERY confirmed bachelor(yeah, he's straight)

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW: I'm reading Stephen King's THE STAND, for I think the 5th time(9/11 and the anthrax scares rather affected me, huh?), DOGS OF BABEL,and an astronomy text I checked out of our academic library a few days ago.

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Dell, dude, at work---and a UIS Educational Technology promo pad at home

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? I never was much for them, though I'd play anything to be sociable---I like the IDEA of chess--I know how to play, got a decent book on it, but you can only play by yourself so long----and most of the people I know who play (like, at BN) are insufferable types---so I play with my two older nephews when I can --checkers with the two littler ones----and whatever else they want to play board wise---

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Strings, Dirty Linen(music magazines) Poets & Writers,Book, Real Simple, American Bungalow. Martha Stewart Living is a guilty pleasure I DON'T feel guilty about liking!

6. FAVORITE SMELL? fresh mown grass, the air when it's snowing, lilacs/lavender/eucalyptus, baked bread,a guy with good hygiene---and Chanel #19

6b. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL? that would be the dead things----my puppy likes to find those dead rodents and bring them into the house as chewie toys---(his only gross habit)

7. FAVORITE SOUND? Thunderstorms, Christmas carols

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Hate/the need for revenge--it just wears you down, makes you old before your time

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE
UP IN THE MORNING? Am I wake, or am I dreaming?

10. FAVORITE COLOR? When I had one as a child, it was yellow---but now it depends on the moment

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? I don't---I check caller ID and call back

12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? names I liked for a girl were Nora, Josephine,--Geneva, for my paternal grandmother---I was open to boy names, I figured I'd think about that when the ultrasound/amnio verified I was having one.

13. WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE? I like what Jack Palance's character said it was in CITY SLICKERS--one thing---what you have to find out for yourself.And for me, it's a mystery, and a journey.So, perhaps it's combining the contradiction of two things, creatively.

14. FAVORITE FOODS? mexican, steak, Beef Stew(!), pizza

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? both , with caramel and nuts

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? Sometimes---sometimes I drive like a grandma,to gawk around and not miss anything---

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? no

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Both--more the former than latter

19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? 1968 AMC Javelin--dark green--I LOVED THAT CAR---I stil have a picture of it, wished I still had it.

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE? No one single person ever impressed me that much that I had them on a list---I figure we'll probably get to meet them all, eventually---rather showing my religious side here---

21. FAVORITE DRINK? Ice Tea, no sweetener--red grapefruit juice too

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Pisces

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Yes!

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD
IT BE? novelist/essayist/poet, composer/musician (I do these things, I just don't make any money doing them!)

25. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR? I have---I have what I want, Reddish Blond, from the reddish brown I was born with

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yes--it was never pretty----

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? the glass is pretty close to being full---now if I could just get that NEXT job I'm supposed to get----!

28. FAVORITE MOVIE? Groundhog Day---gosh, what does that say about me?

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? yeah pretty much


30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? My puppy, sometimes when he wants to sleep or just be in a den like atmosphere

31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? Number 9---I don't know why--

32. FAVORITE SPORT/SPORTS TO WATCH? I think the best literature is themed around baseball --THE NATURAL, FIELD OF DREAMS comes to mind---but I don't really like the sport. I like playing basketball and tennis and running--cycling and kayaking----and like to try things, but not watch particularly. I DO watch the NCAA Basketball playoffs in March--I do get the madness!

33. HOW MANY PETS (IF ANY) DO YOU HAVE? I've got a soft coated wheaten Terrier (6 mo. old) named Benny. He's the biggest dog I've ever had! We had teacup poodles when we were kids---and shared my dad's Brittany Spaniels, German Shepherds and Rotweilers, and their puppies. Also there were Simese cats, Tortoise shell cats(and kittens) fish, iguanas, and salamanders. No rodents--Mom had a bad experience with a rat as a teen so no mice, hamsters, guinea pigs or gerbils.

34. FAVORITE MEMORY? Anything involving people I love--my family

35. WHAT IS A FACTOID ABOUT YOURSELF THAT NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE KNOW? Gosh, I'll have to think about that one---I have probably had a pretty dull life compared to most--I'll get back to that one*****mark this spot****
36. FAVORITE PLACE IN THE USA? The Midwest
37. Favorite TV Show? When I get around to watch tv, ANGEL, now---Buffy's gone---COLD CASE I caught recently, was good, and JOAN OF ARCADIA is pretty well written, I think (I don't have cable, I strictly do network TV).

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

4:26PM - interesting....

The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test
CategoryYour ScoreAverage LJer
Community Attachment3.23%
You have one or two loyal pals on LJ... But you probably have better things to do with your time.
23.36%
MemeSheepage0%
Hey, baby... Is this your first time? We don't see many quiz virgins in these parts...
29.4%
Original Content0%
Current count of original thoughts: Zero.
39.34%
Psychodrama Quotient0%
The Mister Rogers of LiveJournal
17.14%
Attention Whoring4.55%
Low-key and lovin' it
21.06%

Sunday, September 14, 2003

10:41PM - As I expected----

I was outbid---by over 200 dollars---which was fine, I did not want to spend that kind of money for that item.
Which brings me to my weekend---
Friday after work I went to a preview for a 2 day auction being held Saturday and Sunday. There were "some" nice things there---most of the furniture there was made for huge Victorian and like designed homes from the turn of the century--no bungalow stuff. The place was crawling with folks, I was amused, surprised---and uneasy. I'm guessing ANTIQUES ROADSHOW has left an indelible impression on our nation's hoarders and collectors.
I know several people who are fans of the show. I'm not. I'm not a "stuff" person, I don't think. Well,to paint a picture of what goes on in this PBS series, these people come on this show with sometimes some beautiful, old thing they found in their attic, or their great great uncle willed to them, or some interesting thing at a swap meet or yard sale, and this expert appraiser figures out its history and tells 'em what it's worth. Hmm. I thought it was worth whatever you could get for it. What I don't understand is so many people WANT this stuff, and all this OTHER stuff as well, that's old.
I'm torn between the fixations of these people wanting this stuff SO BAD that they are so viciously competitive for it----and I admit I have a competitive streak that gets tweaked out of its slumber when these things go on---their focus on MATERIALISM---- and this is just stuff, that needs cared for and dusted and maintained and stored---and finally, their singleminded thoughts of NOTHING ELSE.

but what I noticed most, what I felt, the vibe I got, was how MISERABLE they were.

No smiles there. All so focused and greedily blocking aisles and access for other lookers. Scrunched up faces and scowls. I felt they were all there to STEAL these items and if not monetarily steal it, to grab the experience of stealing it from someone who wanted/needed it.

The mood, the atmosphere, made me a little ---ill.

I'm officially done with auctions.-even E bay.

If I need it, I'll buy it the traditional way, if I can't make it or get it from the weekly ad shopper/classified section.

Saturday, worked--- after which I did some looking for a sympathy gift for a lady at the library whose brother died...I'm sending flowers tomorrow.

Sunday, did the Edwards Craft Fair, but not before making 7 am mass ---met dad there, I treated him this time to pecan pancakes at the Cracker Barrel. Got my magazine fix at BN, walked the dog twice, thought about going back to the craft fair to get something for Marcia, the above mentioned library employee---but by that time it was over.

The cool thing about my part of the country is that we have a history fixation--with Abe Lincoln buried in the back yard, it kinda goes with the territory. So Menard County Historical Society has this "voices from the past" tour of Farmer's Point Cemetary and Hickory Grove Cemetary (cool names huh) in the vein of Edgar Lee Masters' SPOON RIVER ANTHOLOGY----"interpretors" are stationed at strategically placed grave sites to inform/be these deceased folks--speaking from the grave, as it were. Problem was---the weather---really--sucked this weekend, for that kind of thing. There will be a similar one at Oak Ridge, where Abe's buried--and it's really interesting, --and one in Rochester, which is much closer to home---and I have ancestors there. I almost went to the one they had this weekend, but the rain and the cold didn't appeal to me--though it did clear up some by about 3 pm.
Dad informed me this evening that he's heading for Vegas tomorrow to just be with mom .He'll come back in about 10 days, meanwhile, I'll monitor his property issues til then.

Current mood: sleepy

10:16PM - Oh, I am SO not sophisticated about how the Ebay thing works----

There's something I'm going to bid on in about 5 minutes--which will leave 5 minutes for anyone else to bid on before the auction is over----and I'm aware that there's a software or procedure that one can get/use to put a bid in at the last second----and I'm expecting that, actually to HAPPEN. My experience with Ebay has been HORRIBLE--I did get my cello that way, at a good price, but that was because they were selling them 6 at a time for a certain price---and it took me 3 months to get one that way. Well, here I go---and I'll update once this auction's over.

Current mood: irritated

Friday, September 12, 2003

11:47PM - tonight---

the Muslim Student Association had a vigil for the victims of 9/11. One of our student workers from Pakistan, Omair, has made the local papers for his decency and helpfulness to the international community at large. He's a very faithful Muslim, and was very frightened two years ago when the US was having guarded relations with his homeland. He was ashamed of the acts of the terrorists that day---"those people were NOT Muslims!" he would tell me repeatedly.
I regret not going. I should have gone, just for Omair. I remember reading in my old cathechism books about St Francis of Assisi confronting the Great Shah during a period of the Crusades by just walking up to the front lines to talk to him. Amused and intrigued by his singular faith and lack of fear, the Shah had an audience with him, and said afterwards to him "If all Christians were like you, you could conquer the faith of Mohammed for your own."
I could say the same about Omair---if all Muslims were like him--he has won me over as KNOWING he's a good soul----

Current mood: touched

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